Because I Said So…

" I want to preface by emphasizing that my reflections are not meant to criticize my parents, family, church or any particular faith or belief system. As a preacher's kid, and with a mother who is literally ‘salt of the earth’, I deeply value the teachings and connections I gained through my upbringing. However, I also recognize that the interpretation of religious doctrines by individuals can sometimes lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and a lack of agency in seeking answers. Growing up in an environment where questioning this was discouraged, I experienced firsthand how religious indoctrination and dogma shaped my self-perception and influenced the dynamics of my relationships. It's important to acknowledge the complexities of how faith can impact our sense of identity and to navigate this terrain with compassion and understanding." xoxo-Kari Lea

Unraveling Religious Indoctrination

What is Religious Indoctrination?

Indoctrination in religion means teaching dogma and instructing people to follow specific ideas without question. This can happen through repetitive teaching and pressure from religious groups. It can limit critical thinking and personal freedom, shaping how individuals see the world.

Indoctrination may also instill fear or guilt by teaching about divine punishment for disobedience. This can make individuals feel ashamed or afraid to ask questions, leading to self-doubt and internal conflict.

What is Religious Dogma?

Religious dogma refers to a set of beliefs or principles that are accepted as true and authoritative within a particular religion. These beliefs are often seen as unquestionable and are closely tied to the core teachings and traditions of the faith. Dogma serves as a foundation for religious practices, rituals, and moral guidelines, shaping the worldview and behavior of followers. It is usually upheld by religious leaders and institutions as essential to the faith's identity and teachings. Followers are expected to adhere to these dogmatic beliefs without questioning them, as they are considered fundamental truths that guide the religious community.

Religious indoctrination can deeply influence individuals' sense of self-worth and identity, often fostering feelings of shame through rigid adherence to dogma and moral codes. For example, imagine a young person growing up in a religious community where premarital sex is strictly forbidden and considered a grave sin. If this individual engages in a sexual relationship outside of marriage, they may internalize intense shame and guilt for failing to uphold the community's expectations. The fear of being labeled as impure or immoral can lead to a profound sense of unworthiness and self-condemnation, shaping their self-perception and psychological well-being.

Similarly, religious indoctrination can instill shame through the enforcement of gender roles and expectations. For instance, in communities where women are taught to be submissive and obedient to male authority figures, a woman who challenges these traditional roles may face social ostracism and judgment. The pressure to conform to these gender norms can evoke feelings of shame and inadequacy in individuals who do not fit the prescribed mold, leading to internalized beliefs of being flawed or unworthy in the eyes of their religious community. The intersection of religious teachings, social pressures, and personal identity can create a toxic environment where individuals constantly grapple with feelings of shame and self-doubt due to the rigid constraints imposed by religious indoctrination.

"As a young teen mom at 17, I found myself trapped in a web of fear and shame that seemed inescapable. Growing up in a deeply religious household, where adherence to strict dogmas was paramount, I internalized the belief that any deviation from the prescribed path was a direct reflection of my moral failure. The weight of expectations and judgments from my family and my church family loomed large, casting shadows of doubt and self-condemnation over my every action.

The fear of being honest about my struggles, about not meeting the perceived standards of perfection dictated by religious teachings, paralyzed me. I grappled with the overwhelming sense of unworthiness and the dread of being judged for my perceived shortcomings. It felt like a betrayal of everything I had been taught, and yet, in my heart, I yearned for understanding and acceptance beyond the rigid confines of doctrine. I share my story not to dwell on the past, but to illuminate a path forward for others who may be struggling with similar burdens of shame and guilt. By opening up about my experiences as a teen mom with deep religious roots, I hope to offer a beacon of hope for those feeling trapped by the rigid expectations of indoctrinated dogma.

Breaking free from the chains of shame requires a journey of self-discovery and self-compassion. It starts with recognizing that our worth is not defined by external standards or judgments, but by the inherent value of our humanity. It involves unlearning harmful beliefs that have been internalized over time and replacing them with a narrative of acceptance and empowerment.

To unravel the grip of religious indoctrination on our sense of self, we must cultivate a space for honest reflection and critical inquiry. Asking questions, seeking guidance from diverse perspectives, and embracing our own unique journey of faith and spirituality can lead us towards a path of healing and liberation. By leaning into vulnerability, embracing our imperfections, and fostering an environment that allows the people who love you to offer support and understanding, we can break free from the shackles of shame and step into a place of authenticity and self-acceptance." -Kari Lea